Your "Arrival" Story

Dear Gilgamesh,

So, now you’re probably curious about how you actually came to be. Well, you know how you came to be, but this is when and how we discovered I was pregnant with you.

As you know from the previous entry, your dad and I made the big decision to go off of birth control and try again. So, we did. Shortly after, I went to my first appointment with my new OB/GYN, Dr. Ramamohan Rao, for a regular routine pap. I mentioned to him I had just gone off the pill and was ready to start a family. I also included my history of attempting to conceive and my history of anovulation.

He gave me my regular exam, and then all of a sudden pulled out the ultrasound wand. “You mentioned earlier you want to start a family. Let me make sure everything is good in there.” So, he inspected me. Perfect, he said. He printed out a photocopy of my uterus and reproductive organs, then gave me a blood test to see how everything else looked. Again, everything came back great. After answering a few more of my questions, and I was leaving, he said, “See you when you’re pregnant!” Let’s just say I loved this doctor and how involved he was with everything. He took his time, didn’t rush, and was completely involved. So, I decided to choose him as the doctor for both you and me.

One thing he did, was give me advice on vitamins, foods, and recommended I start tracking my ovulation. Now, I had started taking folic acid and other vitamins including extra calcium, vitamin D, and a multi, weeks before I went off the pill- just to get everything ready to go. I wasn’t sure I wanted to track ovulation because there was no luck in the past, but I decided to anyway.

A couple of weeks later, I felt a twinge in my left ovary. Since I’ve become an expert at reading my body, I knew it was ovulation on the way. A couple of days later, I took an ovulation test. Positive! My first positive! I was thrilled and excited. Most women don’t get this way, but after years of trying and tracking my ovulation, I had never once received a positive before. So yes, I was happy my body was participating.

Fast forward to about a week later. Sore breasts, fatigue, mood swings- typical PMS. My first thought actually was PMS, mostly because the idea of me being pregnant was long gone.

My cycle never showed up and I took a test. Negative. I took a test again a couple of days later. Again, negative. Just what I was expecting. My PMS symptoms were still present, so I assumed, due to the new job, I was just late because of stress. Your dad told me to give it another week or so for my period to show up or I’d see a doctor. Plus, it can take a few months after going off of birth control for cycles to regulate.

The weekend passes, and Monday afternoon/evening, I’m on my way home from work. I stopped at a Walmart down the street to pick up a few things. I glanced over the pregnancy tests, not really tempted to buy one. Heck, I was late and already tested negative, so why waste money? However, a feeling washed over me I had never felt before, and I found myself tossing the box into my cart.

I went home, unloaded the groceries, and then decided to get the test over with. After I did my business and set the test on the toilet, I stood up to wash my hands. Out of habit, I grabbed the test first, gave it a glance, and got ready to toss it. The test was still glazing over in the process, the control line making its way onto the front.

And then it was there, about 15-30 seconds after I had taken the test. It appeared. A good, solid blue line.

I was in disbelief. I was in shock. I couldn’t react right away because my brain didn’t know how to process it. And then there was the “holy crap” that slipped out of my mouth. “Holy…oh my gosh, I…crap…I’M PREGANT!” The panic attack began as I ran out of the bathroom- to the cats, might I add- and paced around the kitchen. I went back and rechecked it. Still there. Came back out, paced some more, muttered a few shocked phrases, then went back in there. Yup, there was the line.

Then I went crazy. I screamed, I jumped on the bed, and I’m sure I threw a cat at one point. Crazy lady is an understatement.

Once I gathered myself together and actually washed my hands this time, I started thinking of ways to tell your dad.

While browsing online for ideas, I came across a site that mentioned the horrors of blue dye pregnancy tests. Apparently they’re notorious for giving false positives. My attention suddenly jumped to that topic. Webpages upon webpages of women getting false positives with blue dyes- women protesting to ban blue dye pregnancy tests because of the false hope- especially the Equate Walmart brand. My heart sank.

The only way to confirm? Take a pink dye test- they never fail.

I got my shoes on and ran over to Target. I bought a pink dye test, which actually came with a digital test.

I tested with pink dye in anticipation. And there it was again, almost instantly, a second line. I sighed of relief.

I booted up your father’s computer (we each have our own), changed his wallpaper to say: "You're Going to be a Daddy". 

Then turned off the computer and waited for him to get home.

When he did get home, he turned on the computer, but didn’t turn on the monitor. Instead, he got his dinner and sat on the couch. “We have this show to catch up on. Come on.”


There I sat, for an hour through this show, dying- I mean, dying to tell him. Finally the show ended, he walked around a bit, cleaned up his dinner plate, then sat on the computer and finally turned on that darn monitor.

It popped up. Silence. Then “Wait…WHAT?” I just came up behind him and said “congratulations.” He asked, “Are you serious? I mean, really? What? Is this real?” I could only laugh at his expression as he nearly fell out of his chair. Then, without another word, he stood up and hugged me for a long time. “Congratulations. We did it.”